It was a dark time for the inhabitants of Middle England...
For two long years they had been paying a heavy tax to the evil
Dark Lords of ITV-Digital who had seized the Seat of Dee-Tee-Tee. These shysters wielded the power of the Mux.

 

They took the inhabitants money and instead of using it wisely foolishly spent it on young men in bright uniforms! These young men performed a weekly challenge for the enjoyment of crowds gathering masses; bizarre and sometimes bloody 90-minute contests involving cowhide, grass, and wooden posts.

But verily it came to pass that the activities of these young men were not being seen! The money was all spent! The Seat of Dee-Tee-Tee was taken back by The Powers That Be, and the Dark Lords Of ITV-Digital were cast out, forever tarnished as failures and outcasts: no longer did they command the power of the Mux!

 

 

To re-establish order, The Powers That Be summoned to their court three of the most powerful tribes in the world: The first, the Broadcasting Corporation of Britain, was known across the land and across the globe for its high morals, its endeavours, and its standing; The second, the Castle of The Crown, controlled the great communication towers that allowed the tribes and peoples to communicate; The third, known only as the people of the Sky, were hardened ruthless warriors who had waged war across the Sat-e-Lyght twelve years previously. They ruled over the large state of Dee-Ess-Tee, a long way away from the shire of Dee-Tee-Tee

The Powers
That Be divided between these three parties the Power of the Mux.

 

 

The First Tribe wielded the power of Muxes One and Bee. They called news every hour! Relayed the proceedings of the court of the Square of Albert! Sang great operatic arias! Displayed art, and craft! Dressed up in cloaks of indigo and spoke in baby-tongues!

 

The Second Tribe wielded the power of Mux Dee. They chose to express themselves in the age-old tradition of music (partly of which they received the wishes of the townspeople, and partly which they believed reflected the rhythms of the day). They also established a marketplace for the less wealthy inhabitants to buy from the demi-gods Alan and Barry.

 

The Third Tribe took control of Mux Cee and told stories from far-away lands, including some of the most popular yarns from the land of Sat-e-Lyght. Like the First Tribe, they also shouted the latest news high from the hilltops, but being competitive claimed to be shouting it first. They also proclaimed the winners and losers of the young-men-and-cowhide contests.

 

All appeared well.

 

But unbeknownst to the Tribes, The Powers That Be had (in their infinite wisdom) kept two Muxes! These were awarded to two upstart Tribes the Tribe of Ess-Pedwar-Ec and Three-Four – and the security of Dee-Tee-Tee looked uncertain again!

 

 

The fears of the people who preferred the new regime were soon realised: the Tribe of Ess-Pedwar-Ec were soon bribed by the banished Dark Lords of ITV-Digital and their Mux was broken in half! One half kept for themselves, but the other lay in the hands of the Dark Lords. Just as before, they imposed a tax on their people.

 

Dee-Tee-Tee was now a two-tier system of society, and there was great unrest. In an act of great chivalry, the First Tribe tried to over-run these Dark Lords and move them away from the un-taxed lands; alas, they failed. Unhindered, soon the Dark Lords had taken some of the Three-Four Tribe's Mux too. The taxes rained in, the money flowed and the unrest between the non-tax-payers and the tax-payers turned nasty. The non-tax-payers claimed the Dark Lords had no place in a supposedly free society; but they simply could not compete with an endless supply of Porridge and repeats of Lovejoy. More and more were lured into paying the tax…

 

 

The passing of many moons saw the resistance to the Dark Lords diminish. This did not stop the Dark Lords determination to tempt as many people as possible to pay their taxes: a day’s membership to their tribe could be bought by the innocent yet inquisitive townsfolk for the sum of a single gold coin. As an added incentive, the inquisitive were offered the chance to view great feasts that even the Tax-Payers themselves were forbidden from seeing! Enjoying such success, the Dark Lords grew ever-more confident – and ever more complacent!

 

The Tribe of Three-Four was really two rival tribes joined by a uncomfortable union: but Three and Four had more in common than they thought! They agreed to work together to fight the Dark Lords and annexed their counties of Sat-E-Lyght to Dee-Tee-Tee!

 

Three began to speak to the men-folk about their chariots, and Four provided the youths with greater access to the hamlet of Holly-Oaks. In a great siege, the Tribe of Three then silently took control of the Mux of Ess-Pedwar-Ec from under the noses of the Dark Lords! Together with the Tribe of Five, they set them an ultimatum to be gone by the 11th year of the century. The Tribe of Four also took back their pillaged land from the Dark Lords, forcing them to retreat to the Mux of Three of Ess-Pedwar-Ec! The Dark Lords were left outcast and humiliated again…

 

 

So many years of change and upheaval had left Dee-Tee-Tee ravaged and scarred. With so many lands changing hands, The Great Powers went to the Court of the Powers That Be to ask for the kingdom of Dee-Tee-Tee to be reorganised to restore order and to assist the somewhat confused townspeople (who did not know where to start looking for thier new lands). Rumours spread from the castle of The Powers-That-Be (told by a messenger boy for the musical players from the West, Three-Cee), suggesting there would be a great proclamation in the Tenth month, and sure enough on the Eighteenth day the land was re-plot, and the townsfolk could settle once more.

 

 

The Dark Lords refuse to give up easily. With so much of their power taken away by the tribes of Three and Five, they have resorted to prowling across the land of Dee-Tee-Tee under the cover of darkness. By night, they control the power of their Mux. This power is short-lived; it goes un-noticed by most of the townspeople, and only those who employ special story-tellers get to reap the benefits of their nocturnal reign…

 

 

Original text © Meic Young 2004
Updated since by
deeteetee.co.uk